Love and marriage?

A friend of ours got married this week.

He is 47. He married a 35-year-old woman. They got married, just like Carrie Bradshaw and Big of Sex and The City, in the City Hall of New York. Just the two of them and a witness friend who also took pictures. They sent us the link to the pictures which they posted on the Internet and also uploaded a very short sweet video of the ceremony on You Tube.

He was wearing a white jacket with a white flower on its lapel.

She was wearing a purple dress with a boat neck, and held a small bouquet of white flowers in her hand.

The both said "I do" when the marriage clerk, a small woman behind a big desk, asked them if they took the other person to be their husband/wife. Then they kissed.

It was a simple and lovely ceremony. No family. No fluffy wedding dress. No bridesmaids. Afterwards they apparently had a dinner with friends in New York.
He was a bachelor for many years. He had quite a few serious relationships with different girls. He was always very much in love with all of them. But somehow or the other it never worked out. He is a journalist, and thus got to travel and live in many places all over the world. The veritable sailor, with a girl in every port.

My husband, MM and I, who have known him since he was 18 (we met him at the Hebrew University of Jerusalem), would often tell him he needed to settle down already. Commit to one girl. Get on with his life. Have children.
He always answered: the time isn't right; I'm not serious enough; I don't want to get married yet.
And now. Now he's done it. He got married. It seems quite unbelievable.
When I saw the pictures and read the news in his email I was very happy for him. What a big step for someone who was obviously either terrified to commit or just patiently waiting for the right gal to come along.

But I also felt a little twinge of worry. We advised him to get married, and now he is. Now what? What will happen to the relationship? Will this romantic couple who promised to love each other in that simple and somewhat unconventional ceremony, fall into the marriage rut? Will romance, flowers, love, sex get thrown out of the window once routine and babies set in? What will be of their careers? Will they make the conscious effort to make time for themselves and remember what they best loved in one another on that memorable wedding day? Will they make sure they still laugh and have fun together? Will they realize that marriage is an uphill road and that not many manage to jog up to the top? That attention, respect, trust, love, flowers and humour are the energy bars they will need along the way?

I have been questioning myself about it. How do I know that to be happy one has to be married? Perhaps my friend had it right all along. And maybe now that he is married he'll hate it? What proof do I have that the love and marriage formula actually works?

I guess the answer is that he was looking, if not to marry, then to have one person to love. I guess the answer lies in the old couples we still sometimes get to see holding hands while strolling on a leafy street. And I guess the answer lies in the fact that even once divorced, men and women continue to hope to find that person that is just right for them. See as witness the plethora of online dating agencies with people looking out for their soul mate. So I guess men and women are meant to be coupled - two by two, just like in Noah's Ark.

It's just that sometimes it's bloody hard work.

Mazal Tov to all those who have just got hitched.

Picture caption: Carrie Bradshaw and Big get married at NY City Hall.
Picture Credit: www.inspiredbythis.com/wp-content/uploads/200...
Picture Credit: Sex and the City, HBO
http://www.hbo.com/sex-and-the-city/cast-and-crew/index.html