That damn "M" word

Ok. Here I am again. Sorry for not having updated for so long, but it has been hectic. I had a work project that never ended. At the same time my in-laws visited from abroad for three weeks. Then the children finished school and I started making plans to refurbish the house. I am NOT looking forward to that. We are also going on holiday to China (believe it or not) in a few days. So the buildup of all this has been very big.

Anyway. In the time I have been away from this blog something major has happened.

I have become officially old.

Well, nobody has actually told me that. But that is what I am. That is what my body has told me loud and clear. O-L-D. Old. And that is a little bit what I feel. Old.

Why suddenly? You may ask.
What happened?

Well, it is all because of that damn M word.
I can't even say it. It sticks in my throat.

M for Motherhood? No, no.
M for Mastery? Not really.
M for Mature? Getting close...
Ok. Ok. Let me give you a big hint....

M FOR MENOPAUSE!!!!

Yes it has hit me. It was coming for some time already. The missing periods. The hot flashes. The sleepless nights and the drop in libido. But I could cope. And then suddenly it all became too much. I was too hot. Too sleepless and too sexless. Everything felt dry and dryer. I felt I was shriveling up like a dry prune. (Not very complementary, I am afraid. But that is truly how I felt.)

And so I asked for advice. I talked to my gynecologist. I talked to my family doctor. I talked to a surgeon who checked me for breast nodules (thankfully none). I read the Hotflash Diva blog . (http://www.thehotflashdiva.com).  I accessed the North American Menopause Society Website (http://www.menopause.org/). And after walking around with Estrogen hormones in my bag, too scared to take them, I started taking the pills approximately two weeks ago.

So. If I become hairy. Fat. Bald. Senile and with breast cancer, then perhaps it is the pills I am taking.
Otherwise, I am feeling better. They are, according to my gynecologist, the lightest Estrogen pills on the market, coupled with Testosterone, to help the libido. Now I sleep through the night and the libido is better indeed. I don't feel so...parched. (I have trouble finding the right word).

So, physically I am feeling better, maybe just a little bit puffy. Mentally...I feel that I have been officially given the diploma of old age.

I find it quite sad, I have to say. Even if still look good and don't look my age, I am actually biologically passed my prime. Sad or what?

I guess the secret to being old and happy is probably not to despair and try to take all what is coming as gracefully as possible. Because you can't really fight it, can you? Just as you can't fight death. Sure. I need to look after myself. I need to do my best to look my best and feel my best. But I guess I shouldn't despair about each and every wrinkle that will appear on my face.

Some consolation can come from the fact that the French woman philosopher Simone De Beauvoir believed that women found complete freedom only after they entered menopause. And my sister-in-law's mother - a Brazilian soap opera star- told her daughter that the best time of her life started at menopause.

Perhaps I should give her a call.

Photo credit:
http://www.clipartguide.com/_named_clipart_images/0511-0812-2901-5536_Spry_Old_Woman_Running_With_a_Walker_clipart_image.jpg